Building a Sober Support Network
The idea of getting sober can be really intimidating, and the idea of staying sober can feel impossible at times. It’s normal to wonder if a sober lifestyle will work for you – to wonder if you can have fun, interact in social settings, or engage in meaningful relationships.
Having a support network can truly make all the difference. Building a sober community can provide encouragement, a sense of belonging, and accountability – all of which are essential for those in recovery.
A sober community can offer a safe space where individuals feel comfortable sharing their personal experiences without worry of judgment or shame. This sense of feeling seen and understood in solidarity often helps to reduce feelings of isolation, promotes transparent emotional support, and fosters a sense of responsibility to care for yourself and those around you.
Whether you’re sober-curious or already sober, assessing your needs can enhance your capacity to live a life that is fulfilling, fun, and free. It can be difficult to know where to start when you’re embarking on a lifestyle that feels unfamiliar. A helpful starting point is to get curious. Ask yourself questions like:
What activities bring me joy?
What am I interested in trying for the first time?
What makes me feel connected to myself and to others?
As you explore activities that feel aligned with your needs, give yourself space to acknowledge that this journey (much like the human journey in general) will ebb and flow. A core human need is connection. Who can you connect with safely when you need someone to celebrate with, to cry with, or to simply exist with? Having human resources is so valuable and can make the good days feel great and the bad days feel conquerable. It is incredibly important to have access to people that make you feel safe, seen, heard, and valued – and remember, a sober community doesn’t mean that every person you interact with is sober or sober-curious. You are allowed to create your community in a way that honors your needs, and this can look different for everyone. As you grow to understand what type of people you want to be around, I encourage you to reflect on questions like:
What are my core values?
What are my social triggers?
What kind of support do I need during challenging times?
As you reflect on your needs, write them down – take note of who you already have by your side and what you want to add to your toolbox. Explore the resources in your immediate area that align with your ideal community. Having an idea of who you can call and where you can go is a great way to ensure that you have preventative resources. Don’t be afraid to get yourself out there – this world was meant for you, too!
With sober culture thriving, there are countless communities and events dedicated to holding space for sober individuals and sober allies in substance-free environments and event spaces where substances are present. Some accessible community choices are:
Ben’s Friends: for those who are sober and working in the service industry
The Phoenix: for those seeking engagement through events that focus on physical, artistic, and social advocacy outlets
Dharma Recovery: for those interested in integrating Buddhist principles
SMART Recovery: for those seeking direction on self-management
12 Step fellowships (Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, etc.): for those seeking peer-led guidance and support
Remember that curiosity and persistence are key. If one thing doesn’t align with your needs, try again! As you embark on this journey of exploration and integration, remember that you are never alone and that you are inherently worthy of connection, support, and compassion.